All relationships require some form of work. However, we need to gauge which connections feel safe enough that they do not leave us more wounded than we were when we began our love affair.

Fear is loud, urgent, and rigid. It rushes through your nervous system with panic, tightness, and internal commentary ("You can't trust them," "You're going to fail," "Get out now"). Fear nearly demands immediate retreat or control.

"Consistency" is not about “trying” to regularly fit in someone else’s expectations. Consistency means we are being ourselves from the start in order to avoid disillusionment and disappointment once our real nature comes out.