Fear is loud, urgent, and rigid. It rushes through your nervous system with panic, tightness, and internal commentary ("You can't trust them," "You're going to fail," "Get out now"). Fear nearly demands immediate retreat or control.

Your mind isn't a single entity that just needs to "try harder." Instead, it is made up of sub-personalities, or "parts," that are constantly interacting, like an internal family.

"Consistency" is not about “trying” to regularly fit in someone else’s expectations. Consistency means we are being ourselves from the start in order to avoid disillusionment and disappointment once our real nature comes out.

He was the part of me that stepped in whenever life became too overwhelming and secretly "ran the show"

Some can argue that love shouldn't be transactional, but in reality, it always is. However, it may not always be fair.